Redeclaration of the Rights of Man: The Bollywood remake.

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZabpCFjG4c/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==  

An illustrative example of why trying to find a "Muslim spouse" has become an almost impossible prospect in this day age. 

We will never be good enough for their precious princesses.

I mean, we were never good enough for our own families, not fair to expect them to lower their standards where our own loved ones couldn't.

I cant even begin to fully describe the nausea and revulsion I felt when listening to this casual account of running background checks on prospective spouses to ensure their financial suitability.

I mean look. ... I kind of get it. Dudes lie. Case in point; turns out the background check was necessary.

That doesn't makes me feel better. It makes me even sicker to my stomach.

Call me a misogynist or a weakling or whatever, but I kind of feel bad for this poor bastard that felt the need to lie about his worthiness to be deemed worthy of comfort and company, a chance to make a home and raise a family.

Only to then be exposed and humiliated online in front of the whole world.

The whole thing makes me want to renounce humanity and refuse companionship.

This is not how we are supposed to seek spouses in Islam.

""A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

"If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1084

"When the Verse concerning silver and gold was revealed, they said: 'What kind of wealth should we acquire?' Umar said: 'I will tell you about that.' So he rode on his camel and caught up with the Prophet (saw), and I followed him. He said: 'O Messenger of Allah (saw) what kind of wealth should we acquire?' He said: 'Let one of acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.' "

Sunan Ibn Majah Hadith No: 1856

"the Prophet (saw) said: "Do not marry women for their beauty for it may lead to their doom. Do not marry them for their wealth, for it may lead them to fall into sin. Rather, marry them for her religion. A black slave woman with piercings who is religious is better."

Ibid 1859

"“Nothing is of more benefit to the believer after Taqwa of Allah than a righteous wife whom, if he commands her she obeys him, if he looks at her he is pleased, if he swears an oath concerning her she fulfills it, and when he is away from her she is sincere towards him with regard to herself and his wealth.”

ibid 1857

However, My Rabb, in his limitless wisdom, has prohibited monasticism to Muslims.

"To Allah ˹alone˺ belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth so that He may reward the evildoers according to what they did, and reward the good-doers with the finest reward. Those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, only [committing] slight ones. Indeed, your Lord is vast in forgiveness. He was most knowing of you when He produced you from the earth and when you were fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him."

Quran 53:31-32.

"Sa'd said: “The Messenger of Allah disapproved of Uthman bin Maz'un's desire to remain celibate; if he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated.”

Sunan Ibn Majah 1848

As such, because I am obligated to attempt to find a spouse and complete one half of my faith and so forth, I shall continue to make good faith efforts to procure an appropriate spousal unit as per the social conventions that seem to be at work.

However, I think it's time I started enforcing a few boundaries of my own.

I am happy to submit to background checks and sign IRS disclosure forms and allow a full audit of my finances to allay the insecurities of these "pious Muslim brides" and their status obsessed Walis and families.

But I am going to have to ask in turn that such pious Muslim women sign HIPAA forms and allow me to access their entire medical history.

I would also like them to submit to extensive medical, behavioural and psychiatrict analysis and assesment to ensure their suitability as a brood mares for my offspring, just as I am expected to submit myself to thorough scrutiny to determine my fitness as a workhorse.

If we are going to be treating each other like goats at a marketplace, then I want my money's worth as well.

Trust me, I have been badly burned by deceptive marketing and false representations myself, from some of the most dyed-in-the-wool Desi Hafiza Hajji types you can find.